Christian Marriage

I talked about divorce in my last blog, now let me talk about the role of husband and wife in a good marriage. The Bible tells us in Genesis 2:22 that God took the rib of man and created woman from it. The Bible also teaches us that the man is the head of the wife. (Ephesians 5:23) Sorry to all feminists, but that's what the Bible teaches.

Ephesians 5:22-33 "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Never the less, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (NASB)

Looking at these verses we see that we husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. How much did Christ love the church? So much that he gave his own life for it. Also we are to love our wives as our own bodies. Verse 22, where it says wives be subject to your own husbands is addressed to the wives willingly and lovingly obeying their husbands, which is right, not the husband commanding or demanding it. Honestly, if the wife is not living up to her end, scripture does not give the husband a free pass to forget how he ought act and treat his wife. It also does tell the man that he is to demand respect and obedience. So when people, especially Christian men, argue with you that women are completely inferior to men and completely low on the totem pole, here is some scripture that tells us completely different. The Bible does tell us that man is head over the woman, but only the husband over his own wife. I don't have dominion over my friend's wife, only my own. This point shows up the perfection and oneness of marriage. Yes I am head of my wife, as Christ is head of me. Well, Christ shows me mercy and blessings constantly, so should I not do the same for my wife?

There is a real responsibility to those who are put in charge of people, and one can rule like a tyrant, or one can choose to rule out of love like our Heavenly Father does. 1 Peter 3:1-2 "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior." This verse is addressing wives to be submissive to their husbands so if they are not of the faith, they may be won over by your Christian conduct. You know the greatest evangelistic tool we posses as men and women is living the life of a Christian for others to see not just merely talking about it. So wives, be submissive to your husbands except if it goes against the Lord. The Lord is always first then the husband. So often people get the order of things wrong and it destroys marriages fast. First and foremost is always God, then your spouse, then kids. I have seen many people put their kids or their parents or even friends above their spouse and there is always trouble when this is done. The worst thing a couple can do is have a marriage without the Lord in it and the head of it.

1 Peter 3:7 "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." Submission is also the responsibility of the Christian husband as well, though not submitting to his wife as the leader, a believing husband must submit to the loving duty of being sensitive to the needs, fears and feelings of his wife. It says of the wife here as someone weaker. My MacArthur study Bible notes this saying, "While the woman is fully equal in Christ and not inferior spiritually because she is a woman she is physically weaker and in need of protection, provision and strength from her husband."

So the next time someone says that Christianity is unfair to women remember these verses. Especially Galatians 3:28. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither man or female; for you all are one in Christ Jesus." Let us all know that in God's eyes we are all spiritually equal no matter who's rich, poor, famous, man, woman, black, white and on and on. We are all the same to God, beloved children of His whom He gave special talents and blessings.

My prayer for all is that we see the proper way to treat our spouses and to submit to them willingly and lovingly as we do to the Lord. Husband, or wife, let us do all to show the proper love that God so desires in marriage of which he instituted and so graciously created.

With love and good tidings always,

C.